I don't have a new computer yet.
Turns out, that whole "options overwhelm" part of ADHD is very real, and I'm stuck in... Well, overwhelm. I have 99 options, and I know approximately what I want, but there isn't one that stands out in particular yet.
Now. In this moment, I could choose to see this as yet another "pathological" part of my neurodivergence. I could choose to say, "I'm just overwhelmed with options, realistically they're all good enough and I'm being picky, I just need to choose one and move on."
But if you've been following my work for 45 seconds, you know that's not how we roll around here. You know that there is always an underlying REASON for neurodivergent behaviour, and none of those reasons are simply character flaws, stubbornness, or bad behaviour.
So, why am I overwhelmed by all of the available options?
Because none of them seems good enough, and I hate the idea of settling.
Ahhh, yes, the truth inside of the negative self-talk.
I'm too picky. I overthink things. I take too long to make choices. As my mother used to say, I have "champagne taste on a beer budget."
What usually ends up happening in these cases is that I'll either artifically manufacture an emotional emergency that will PUSH me to make a decision, or I will invent a deadline in order to PUSH me to make a decision.
Either case will result in me settling and justifying whatever I went with, but at least the decision will be made and I won't be picky, overthinking, stubborn, and a myriad of other negative things I internalized about myself.
How does this show up in business for people like us?
- I don't know what to sell so I'm going to create a financial emergency to force my hand.
- I can't choose a business, so I'm going to quit my job / get forced out of my job / create an emotional crisis that leaves me unwilling to stay in my job.
- I'm going to invest in this super expensive coaching program even though I know options like Solo School exist for 1/10th the price because if I invest more, maybe I'll take things seriously enough to actually get started.
Knowing all of this, I'm going to do something a little bit different.
I'm not going to force a decision.
I'm not going to give myself an arbitrary deadline (I am in the no deadlines project after all), I'm not going to create an emotional crisis around it, I'm not going to research and plan out the most expensive option imagineable and then choose to settle since it's completely out of reach.
I'm going to get the computer I want, and trust it'll be done when I need it.
(Update: immediately after writing this, I messaged the custom PC builder I've been talking to locally about my specs and requirements to start a custom build. Because of course I did. Because of course, without a deadline or a crisis or telling myself I have to pick something I don't really want just to get it done already, I'm able to freely choose the best suited option for me.)
An interesting thing has emerged this week.
I'm always, always insisting that persistence is far more important than consistency. We hear over and over and over again that consistency is the only important part of business. Doesn't matter what you do, if you do it consistently, you'll succeed - so if you can't be consistent, you're doomed to fail.
Time and time again, I've proven that wrong.
Interestingly enough, I've been wildly inconsistent while going through burnout (surprise, surprise) and while there have definitely been some revenue bumps along the way - everything is still relatively as it was?
I mean, yeah I have some messes to clean up as I'm emerging from my "shit cocoon" as I called it to my lovely ops angel this morning (bless her), but my audience has... Grown? My list is now 4x the size it was, my group is growing every day, and I'm starting to make sales automatically on occasion?
It's almost as if, in the absence of any ability to be consistent, you can get the same long-term effects by just sticking with something long enough for it to work.
Huh. Who would have thought?
This week is the last week of my sprint/semester break.
I'm actually starting to get really excited to start calls back up again next week, which is a fantastic sign that my recovery is well underway. While I'll miss sleeping in every single day, my schedule starts at 10am so I can't really complain anyway. I'm so grateful for the "Nine Month Year" schedule that I've created for myself, which I'll be detailing in a future newsletter piece so watch for that!
In the group this week, I opened up the Tip Jar for people to share their neurodivergent-specific business tips, and we got almost 60 responses.
We've got a member looking for podcast guests on this thread, a member asking about advice to sell yourself when you have an aversion to selling on this thread, a member asking for advice about scaling when they don't feel cut out for management here, and another amazing food thread here!
Hop into the group and catch us up on what you're doing this week.
- Cheryl
❤️ How to work with me
There are currently three bundles left of everything I've ever created for anyone who joins Solo School on a full annual membership. That includes my freelancers course (including advanced social selling + authority content engines), my CatalystAI with lifetime access, the DIY audit course (build your own marketing strategies using these thought experiments and my AI model), and every feature of Solo School - currently at around 60% off!
💯 Days Without Deadlines
The minute I remove a deadline from something is the minute I suddenly feel motivated to do it.
This is the strangest thing to come out of my no deadlines experiment.
I figured my prioritization would shift, that I would change things up and my work would look different... But never in a million years would I have guessed that I would actually START working on the things I had been putting off as soon as the deadline was gone.
Especially considering how many years I had manufactured artificial deadlines for myself, thinking it was the only way to motivate me to actually get things done.
So simultaneously, I'm accomplishing more of the IMPORTANT work I want to get done, while doing a lot of it faster (thanks to deep work sessions rather than arbitrary time blocking), AND making room for things like writing, researching, and developing more content.
I may actually find time to get my book done if things keep going like this. Oooooh, that sparked a bit of joy! I wonder!
I'm more creative, more motivated, and have a healthier relationship with my work, which I do believe is greatly assisting with my burnout recovery as well.
One thing I do have to get a handle on is the tiny pieces. I can easily let a whole day fly by doing small tasks, like newsletters and bookkeeping and sending off links and things, and never really get anything major accomplished. So I'm going to experiment with scheduling THAT stuff for the END of my day.
My thought process is, if I'm starting to feel tired enough of what I'm doing that I enjoy that I'm worried I won't have time for admin, it's probably time to call it for the day soon anyway, and then I'll spend a minimal amount of time on admin and a maximum amount of time on deep work.
We shall see how that goes!
More updates next week, but suffice to say, I have ZERO plans to return to deadlines at this point.
💪 Business adaptation of the week
Boundaries are big on my mind this week. As the fog lifts and I start to feel more capable of doing work, it would be very, very easy for me to allow free-form work sessions to take over my life and work myself back into the bad place.
So, I set myself firm 4pm, Tuesday and Wednesday only work timelines. I have 3 hours left of work before my calls start up again next week, and I'll get done what I can get done. My plan is to set some firm boundaries for myself next week as well, to make sure I don't go too hard out the gate.
I have to say it is the HARDEST thing to do. I am actually feeling super motivated and inspired quite often the past few days, and letting myself sit with that feeling instead of tapping into it... It's a challenge. But it is one that has been welcome.
🎁 My favourite things this week
My sweater is... Possibly done? I find myself wanting to create a nice trim piece for it, so I started knitting it and then... Realized I'm still not super good at knitting. While I know how, I'm also learning continental style knitting (I learned English, which is far slower) so my tension is inconsistent and it's making for a slightly messy finished product.
So, I'm either going to knit some more and fall in love with it - or call it done. I'll update you next week.
📚 What I'm reading
I've been writing more than reading lately, which I'm quite enjoying, but I've also still been working on The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, because I'm seriously enjoying reading and I wanted to read something fun. It's got me hooked right out of the gate! I've got The Courage to Be Disliked on rotation with it, and I discovered that last week, Peloton added the Kindle app to their entertainment section. So, goodbye to-be-read pile and hello hamstrings. 😂
Want to follow my reading? Check me out on StoryGraph, the minority-owned GoodReads competitor I love!
