[00:00:00] When I was a kid, I thought I was good at meditating because I could do the pose. Well, You know, the one I'm talking about, like both feet sunny side, up on your knees, middle finger and thumb touching the pose. Now, aside from the fact that clearly nine-year-old me had no idea what meditation was or how it worked.
I remembered this the other day while meditating very much not in that pose. And thinking about the rules. Specifically the rules we create for what success looks like.
My adorable hypermobile, little baby self. So the external signs of success, what meditation looked like to everyone else and decided that was the whole thing.
That's all there was to it. You just had to be able to sit like the best of them and you would get. All the benefits.
Which also meant if you could not sit like that. You could not meditate.
You would not see the benefits.
And I [00:01:00] realized. I do this to myself all the time.
C, we put all these rules in place about what we should or are supposed to be doing. We focus on the pose and not the piece.
We create arbitrary, external signs of success. And if we don't meet those signs, we don't allow ourselves to see the benefits or sometimes even to do the thing.
We also create barriers to success this way.
You can't podcast without a good intro and a good editor, right?
You can't do yoga without the right clothes on.
One of my most common false rules is that I have to take the dog with me. If I'm going to go for a walk.
Nevermind that the thought of taking my unruly ragamuffin around the block to sniff every conceivable thing to ensure that it won't jump scare him. He has anxiety while he Dodgers back and forth like the ball and a pro level table tennis match.
It makes me absolutely [00:02:00] not want to go for a walk.
My little heart says, I must take him. Or he'll be sad.
Therefore, if I don't want to deal with him. I can't go for a walk. So guess how much I walk.
You can be pretty sure that you're holding yourself to an artificial rule. Every time you say a sentence with this general structure.
I can't. Thing. Until before, without, or instead of. This thing.
I can't go for a walk without the dog.
I can't eat dinner until I finish work.
I can't stop working before I do this last task.
I can't walk instead of running today.
Yeah, I know now you're thinking, I know I've thought those things before, but I have no idea when right. That's just like me when I realized this pattern and I have good news. And I have some bad news. [00:03:00] So the bad news is you've definitely thought those things today. Like maybe even as you clicked over to this. You thought one of those things. I can't watch this video until I et cetera.
The good news is there is a way to start resolving this. So the first step before you start breaking all the rules is to figure out what the rules actually are.
So I want you to observe. Throughout the days ahead, work on noticing when you say the words. Until before, without, or instead. No judgment, just noticing. Maybe even write them down, document the rules. That's the first step.
Step two. Is to analyze. Are any of these rules helpful? Are they actually good rules? Like I can't drink an open glass of water until I sit up. [00:04:00] Or are they arbitrary and unhelpful? Like, I can't read a book in the living room instead of my reading chair, because that's not where I read books.
Step three is to break the rules. The arbitrary ones. Of course. Don't wet your own bed with a glass of water, but be absurd with it. If you can. I've been riding my Peloton in whatever I'm wearing. I keep a pair of socks with my shoes and I just hop on, even if I forgot my workout gear and I read while I'm doing an easy ride, if I don't feel like getting my clothes sweaty. I had rules about what I had to wear on my bike.
I had rules about when I could change into those things. And I have rules about whether or not I had to be doing one of the Peloton workouts. Now I don't.
I've meditated in the plank position face down on the floor. Just for fun.
I ate dessert first.
Whatever rules I had [00:05:00] made for myself. I violated them in the most absurd ways possible to show myself that the rules really were arbitrary. To give me proof that I could succeed. Even if it didn't look like the performance of success. And do you know what happened?
It took away all of my excuses.
Now I have my workout gear ready more often because I know I'm just going to get my t-shirt sweaty anyway, because I'm working out no matter what I'm wearing. So I wear it more and work out more.
It sounds simple and that's because it is simple. If you just get absurd.
Like. If you know, this reference you'll know it, but think of how John Cleese would break your rule for an episode of Monty Python's flying circus. And then do that.
Absurd.
So that's how I've been working on breaking the arbitrary rules that I'm setting for [00:06:00] myself and getting more done in the process. What are some of the rules you're giving yourself? Drop a comment below and share some of the rules that you've come up with. And doubly share. If you broke all the rules in an absurd way. Because I kind of want to hear what you guys are doing.
Have you tried meditating in the plank position? Have you tried going for a walk in your pajamas, in the rain? Just because you don't want to bring the dog. Let me know how you are breaking the rules in the most absurd way possible to really finally prove to yourself. That you can do things the way that you want to, the way that works and in a way that actually helps.
